Last semester or so when I was having trouble, Sarah Tucker...my good friend wrote me this poem when she ran out of words to comfort me. Again, I feel as if I am down in the depths of despair. Here, I let you read it. I hope you enjoy it, I sure have. I named the poem since Sarah did not title it, and I choose that last question and only question because has run deep in my mind and I think I am slowly starting to see the answer. Why should I burden you? Response...Because I love you. I feel that is how God responds to me and that is how I want and will respond to others. Hope you do not mind Sarah, about me posting this or naming the poem. It just describes everything so well.
Why Should I Burden You?Screams pain and misery in the dark
Always this loneliness, always this fear.
Terror, longing, and hope... always hope.
That I mattered, that I was worth loving, even the twisted battered parts of me.
Space and time...
I don't even know myself
Like a false dichotomy, the external, the acceptable, the shell I like...
But inside, behind many doors, down several staircases, hiding under the bed, cowering wrapped in featherdowns...
The part I can't stand, the part I despise, the part that I can't deny is me.
Pain runs deep, forces me to be human, to be real, to not pretend that the external is all there is. It cannot be taken. Cannot be given. Can only be shared. Why should I burden you?
And I can't tell you what you need to know, I can't answer all the questions. I can barely live with the questions myself.
~Sarah Tucker, Friend~
