My Valentines day was really cool. The first Valentines day I have ever celebrated without baby-sitting, I actually thought before that if you were single that the holiday did not apply to you... go figure. My dad always dreaded this holiday because it meant he had to leave his house, computer, and work and go out with his wife...(oh, how horrible)...and it also meant his anniversary was coming up (having to leave home, and etc. and go out). Needless to say, my father is an introvert...where did I come from?!? My mother and grandmother are both outgoing, but not as much as I. Blessed be the introvert for he/she will silently take over the world from their computers... If introverts took over the world, I wonder what they would do with us extroverts?
On that note, I took a test at church to tell me my personality...the only useful thing it told me is that I am extroverted and not a thinker. I got zeros on the other two things...that could be my problem, I can flunk a personality test, that is really impressive.
I use to hate being the center of attention...my friends and I would sneak off and have fun, but groups scare me!!! I like concerts but only when I can walk around or be where people are not touching me on all sides, or be among people I know. But if I do not know anyone, or a large group forms around me, I freak!!! The last concert I remember was Newsboys, we had been to concerts all day at Spirit West Coast. My friend convinced me to stand in the very front with her, we waited a few hours, but had a great view...people started pressing in and when the music started I was being shoved and pushed into the gate thingy to keep us back. I was pressed until I could not move then I started getting scared and tried to escape...but I was stuck...there was no way out! They had guys in front to help people out of there if they need to get out and I somehow got his attention, we were close to one, and he asked if I wanted out saying that I would not be able to go back. I agreed right away, and he reached down and picked me striate up and over the fence thingy (it was not extremely tall, like four feet). I have never felt so small as when he picked me up as if I were a feather and then set me down in a safe place. From there I went to the bleachers and sat with my amazing mom and friends...where I wish I had been the whole time.
So, if I hate groups...why am I the center of attention? My small group of friends is one thing...but I do not want to be the outgoing smart mouth. I feel so different from how I was...I used to say I was SHY!!! (ok, so most people did not believe me) I am just a small-town-country-girl. I raised chickens, goats, pigs, turkeys, rabbits, and many other animals, and loved it!!! For fun we would "go to town", which consisted of mom taking us kids (six at that time) to the nearest food store that was 45 minutes away (if you knew the road) and we would get to "eat out". At church, amazingly large at 8ish families, I would hang out with the only six other girls in the church (and two of those were sisters) and I would like never say anything. The families in our church mainly had boys, so there were a lot of them. I was braver than my siblings, which is not saying much (we took after our dad). I was the only one who would ask the over-seven-foot-tall UPS driver his name, and the only one to talk to the cop that came to our door while my parents were gone because our pigs got out (funny story behind that, and, yes, the cop had to replace his car door). Well, I was always interested in people and growing up I found that I could talk to anyone and they would talk to me. Therefore, I enjoyed it so why not talk to people. It freaked out my siblings, by anywhere I was I would start talking to those around me. I enjoyed that. In front of groups I shake and all I want to do is fall through a hole in the floor, public speaking is not something I do well.
So, why am I going on and on about this? That's a great question. They said I was the center of attention tonight while we were hanging out. I was taught that the center of attention is a BAD thing. Is it wrong for me to be in the center of it all? Is it wrong to be the center of attention? I WISH I KNEW!!!!
On that note, I took a test at church to tell me my personality...the only useful thing it told me is that I am extroverted and not a thinker. I got zeros on the other two things...that could be my problem, I can flunk a personality test, that is really impressive.
I use to hate being the center of attention...my friends and I would sneak off and have fun, but groups scare me!!! I like concerts but only when I can walk around or be where people are not touching me on all sides, or be among people I know. But if I do not know anyone, or a large group forms around me, I freak!!! The last concert I remember was Newsboys, we had been to concerts all day at Spirit West Coast. My friend convinced me to stand in the very front with her, we waited a few hours, but had a great view...people started pressing in and when the music started I was being shoved and pushed into the gate thingy to keep us back. I was pressed until I could not move then I started getting scared and tried to escape...but I was stuck...there was no way out! They had guys in front to help people out of there if they need to get out and I somehow got his attention, we were close to one, and he asked if I wanted out saying that I would not be able to go back. I agreed right away, and he reached down and picked me striate up and over the fence thingy (it was not extremely tall, like four feet). I have never felt so small as when he picked me up as if I were a feather and then set me down in a safe place. From there I went to the bleachers and sat with my amazing mom and friends...where I wish I had been the whole time.
So, if I hate groups...why am I the center of attention? My small group of friends is one thing...but I do not want to be the outgoing smart mouth. I feel so different from how I was...I used to say I was SHY!!! (ok, so most people did not believe me) I am just a small-town-country-girl. I raised chickens, goats, pigs, turkeys, rabbits, and many other animals, and loved it!!! For fun we would "go to town", which consisted of mom taking us kids (six at that time) to the nearest food store that was 45 minutes away (if you knew the road) and we would get to "eat out". At church, amazingly large at 8ish families, I would hang out with the only six other girls in the church (and two of those were sisters) and I would like never say anything. The families in our church mainly had boys, so there were a lot of them. I was braver than my siblings, which is not saying much (we took after our dad). I was the only one who would ask the over-seven-foot-tall UPS driver his name, and the only one to talk to the cop that came to our door while my parents were gone because our pigs got out (funny story behind that, and, yes, the cop had to replace his car door). Well, I was always interested in people and growing up I found that I could talk to anyone and they would talk to me. Therefore, I enjoyed it so why not talk to people. It freaked out my siblings, by anywhere I was I would start talking to those around me. I enjoyed that. In front of groups I shake and all I want to do is fall through a hole in the floor, public speaking is not something I do well.
So, why am I going on and on about this? That's a great question. They said I was the center of attention tonight while we were hanging out. I was taught that the center of attention is a BAD thing. Is it wrong for me to be in the center of it all? Is it wrong to be the center of attention? I WISH I KNEW!!!!
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